No one is happy with a dull sex life. In a relationship, sex may not be the “end all and be all” but a fulfilling sexual connection is one of the markers of a strong union. Sex is not just taking your clothes off and doing the deed. It should not be a chore that you need to tick off your to-do list.

Break Away from the Routine Mentality

In long relationships, sex life tends to become routine. Truth be told, for some couples it’s a once in a month thing, if at all. Sex used to be fun and exciting but it’s magic diminishes due to responsibilities, over-familiarity, age, and other factors.

Your sex life need not be boring. Yes, everybody has responsibilities but they should not get in the way of your relationship. Over-familiarity may take away some of the excitement but you can make it work in your favor!

So, how do you go about spicing things up in the bedroom?

Ways to Spice Things Up in the Bedroom

Communication is key

You should never hesitate to talk with your partner. An open communication line is important in any relationship. Share your day with each other. Tell him what happened at work, at home, who you met, what you’ve read and anything that happened to you no matter how trivial.

When we are comfortable talking about the mundane, this will translate to an open communication line in the bedroom. If you know that your partner listens to you (and vice versa), you will feel comfortable telling each other what you want in bed.

Work on your fitness

Sex is a physical activity that requires stamina. Everybody ages and along with it, we lose some of our stamina. In our youth, we can be like Energizer bunnies in the bedroom but as we age, we’d rather sleep after a long day’s work. Work on your fitness.

Exercise to build up your cardiovascular endurance. This will do wonders when it comes to your energy. Even a full day at the office will still leave you some power in the bedroom. Working out will also make you look good and who doesn’t want that?

It’s a bonus if your partner works out with you. The time you spend together is an opportunity to get connected. Plus, it can be sexy seeing your partner strong and sweaty.

Bring back the past

Do you remember when the relationship was still new and the thought of seeing each other gave you butterflies in the stomach? Try to bring that back. Think of the mannerisms that you used to find cute and maybe they’re still there if you look closely.

Look back at the efforts you made and do them again. If they had worked before, they should work again. It can be as simple as shaving your legs when you go out for dinner, putting on a nice shirt when you pick her up from work or holding each other’s hand when you do the grocery store.

All-day foreplay

Foreplay is not confined to the bedroom. There are things you can do as you go about your day that can make your partner excited to go home to you. Use your phone. Send your partner naughty text messages throughout the day, even if he’s right smack in the middle of work.

If you’re daring, send him sexy photos. If doesn’t even have to be a nude photo, if that’s too daring for you. You can send a picture of your bra and tell him that you’re not wearing any underwear. Teasing your partner this way will tell him that you are thinking of him and he will be excited to go home to you.

When you’re both home, you can sneak him some moves, too. Think back to the time when you could not keep your hands off each other and bring back that feeling.

Make the bedroom a sexy place

Put an effort into making the bedroom a sexy place again. Use mood lights, scented candles, sexy music or anything that puts you and your partner in the mood. If your partner has a fetish for black lingerie, wear one even if flannel pajamas is more comfortable.

Slow and fast both work

Sex need not be quick all the time. Yes, quickies have their own appeal. When you suddenly find yourselves alone, a quickie is fun. Working against time can give you a different kind of rush. It shouldn’t be a quickie all the time though. Slow sex is also good. It allows connection that goes beyond physical.

Educate yourselves

Just because you already know each other inside and out does not mean there is nothing more you can bring to the table, or the bed for that matter.  You can learn new techniques by watching videos, or read up and surprise your partner with your new learnings.

Be aware of your changing body

As we grow old and go through life experiences, there are changes that happen to our body, even in our vaginal health. Pregnancy and giving birth changes our vaginal make-up. Vaginal organ prolapse may happen and the vaginal canal may become loose.

This will affect sexual enjoyment. When we are no longer tight down there, sensation diminishes and this spoils the fun not just for us but for our partner as well.

Eventually, we can lose our confidence in pleasing our man.  All hope is not lost! There are kegel exercises for women that can strengthen the pelvic floor muscles to make a woman feel tight again. If you really want to take things to the next level and see faster results then you can add in resistance to your Kegel training.


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